Fighting the Food
by Solo Loco Ellingson-Rose
Summary: Weird things keep happening on the Going Merry concerning food, and no one can figure out why. This is just a completely random fanfiction. Oneshot No pairings.


Hi everyone! This is really a pathetic fanfic, but I was bored, so I wrote it anyway. Plus it was fun to write. ENJOY!

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It was your typical day on the Going Merry. Zoro was napping, Chopper and Robin were reading, Nami was charting, Sanji was doting, and as always, Luffy was running around like the lunatic he is. Though not with his usual partner; for some unknown reason, Usopp was late getting up that morning. 

"LUFFY!!!!" The newly awake, angry Straw Hat marksman shouted, storming on deck.

"Yeah Usopp?" Luffy asked innocently.

"WHY IS THERE A _DOUGHTNUT_ STUCK ON MY NOSE?!"

"How should I know Uso- HEY! There's a doughnut on your nose! You look funny Usopp!" Luffy laughed, pointing a rubber finger and grinning.

"Look, I know you did it Luffy!" Usopp shouted, red in the face at being laughed at.

"Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but either way, it's a great look on you." Came a deep voice from behind them.

Zoro, having been woken up from his nap, was lying there grinning slightly. For some reason he was finding the doughnut on Usopp's nose rather amusing.

"I don't see what's so funny!" Usopp sniffed. "**I** am a brave and distinguished warrior of the sea, and should not be treated like-"

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" A shrill scream split the almost calm air, and of course, Usopp's rant.

Upon running in the direction of the scream, (and removing certain doughnuts off of certain noses.) Zoro, Luffy, and Usopp found Chopper, lying in a heap under a large pile of broccoli, still spilling out of the supply closet it was located in front of.

After staring at the broccoli for quite a while, Usopp looked up to see Luffy looking just as flabbergasted as he was. The marksman's brain could only register this as two things. Either Luffy had suddenly gotten extremely good at acting, or he hadn't put the broccoli/doughnut there. It was time to investigate.

Donning a plaid hat and trench coat, Usopp returned to the pile of broccoli, with a magnifying glass in his hands, and Luffy and Chopper hot on his heels.

Over the next three hours, every possible calamity having to do with food somehow managed to occur, including giant celery sticks finding their way into Zoro's belt instead of his swords, a large number of apples filling Nami's room, Luffy almost drowning in pudding, prunes raining down from the heavens, and Robin wrestling the mystery meat from the back of the fridge off of one of her oh-so-precious books.

In the end, the Straw Hat Crew sat huddled around the main mast, Zoro with his relocated swords drawn, Luffy's hat pushed down hard on his head, Sanji ready for action, and Usopp cowering in fear behind Nami.

Just then, a shadow spread itself across the entire ship, causing the whole crew to look up in horror as an enormous pean-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" The resounding scream coming from the men's quarters shook the ship, disturbing the perfect night air.

Usopp lay back in his hammock, breathing heavily. "Phew. It was only a dream. Just a bad dream…" He sighed before fading back into sleep.

­The next day, the crew was assembled, as always for breakfast, but none of them really wanted to eat, in fact, even Luffy wasn't very hungry.

"You know, I had the weirdest dream last night." He stated to no one in particular as he finished his meat.

"Really?" Chopper asked. "I had a pretty weird dream too."

"Me too." Sanji added.

"Same here." Came the voice of Nami, which was followed shortly by the agreement of Zoro, coupled with Robin's nodded assent.

"None of you had dreams about food, by any chance, did you?" Usopp ventured, his knees quivering slightly.

All eyes cut to him along with the unanimous question of "How did you know that?!"

"'C-cause I had the same dream!" He replied.

Sitting back Robin put her hand to her chin, looking thoughtful. "So, we all had the same dream eh? Well, I know I didn't, but did anyone finish the dream?"

"No, I think I dropped out around the time of Luffy with the pudding." Came Sanji.

"I don't remember any pudding! I blacked out when Zoro pulled out the celery." Chopper supplied, along with everyone else. Zoro was the only one not talking. He was too busy staring down at the table.

"Well Swordsman-san?" Robin asked, pulling Zoro out of his little world.

"Huh? What? Well what?"

"How far did YOU get in the dream."

"Yeah! Something big was about to fall on us when I woke up!" Usopp added eagerly.

Zoro looked mad. "It's a stupid way to die." He said more to himself than to anyone.

"Come on Zoro! What was it?" Luffy pressed.

Zoro stood up and turned to walk out the door, but paused. "Lets just say I'm never eating peanuts again." He then shoved his hands in his pockets, and stormed out.

"Wow…" Chopper started quietly.

"What a stupid dream." Everyone said at once, and followed Zoro out of the kitchen.


End file.
